A Comedy Playlist

I am going to be honest here. This may be a controversial statement since all of my friends are hipsters who play accordions (ironically) and follow bands around to dumpy local bars, but… I don’t get music! I do, however, envy those music lovers’ playlists. So, because I only get comedy and you get both music and comedy, let’s join forces and experience them together with: My Comedy Playlist.

Adam Sandler: Lunchlady Land

Because I was a fat kid, I spent most days of every summer in my basement (the coldest room of the house) trying to avoid sweating. In my attempt to stay cool, I discovered re-runs of Saturday Night Live. The first time I saw this, I didn’t leave the basement for three straight days.  I apologize for the poor quality of the video. It was the 90s.

Julie Goldman: Faith Based Song

If you don’t know Julie Goldman yet, get ready. Words I would use to describe her? Lady-like. Reticent. A powerhouse of facial expression. A behemoth of vocal variance. Unmatched comedic songwriter.

 Sarah Silverman: I’m F*cking Matt Damon

Does this song get stuck in your head at inappropriate settings? Gramma’s 70^th birthday party? Job interview? Sunday Mass? Maybe not this song, but another one that involves lewd sexual acts? We both know you’re bluffing, and that’s okay.

Natalie Portman Rap

Of all the SNL digital shorts to date, this is one of my favorite. From this incredibly violent, vulgar video to Where the Heart Is, she is totally convincing. Somebody get this girl an Oscar! She has one? Oh, okay. You know what? I’m just going to go ahead and watch it again.

  Weird Al,  Amish Paradise

I wish I were joking about this, but in the summer when I was a kid, my mom made me go to bed before sundown. Did you not get that? Because I said in the SUMMER… BEFORE SUNDOWN. All of my friends were still out playing, and I had to be in my bed pretending to sleep. In actuality, I just opened my window and talked to my friends who sat on my neighbor’s porch at that time. Then, I waited for the “Hot 8 at 8” to come on our very trendy local station, Hot 101. There was a distinct period of time when I literally could not do anything besides sulk in despair and whine. That is until I heard Amish Paradise and that one song where they say “Murderah” throughout the entire song. In the daylight. In my bed. Alone. Sometimes I played with my hamster, appropriately named Hampy.  Let’s just say, Weird Al is the one and only “Lyrical Gangsta”.

Just for fun, here’s that Murderah song, for your enjoyment. You’ll know it when you hear the initial na na na’s.

Mr. G from Summer Heights High: Sk8r Boi

This is definitely worth sitting through the minute of dialogue; I promise. “That’s it, you’re the bomb, you know it. Sell it. Tell them. Then you’ve got the role.”

Unintentionally funny music video: Katy Perry’s “Wide Awake”

First of all, what? What the hell is going on in this video? It’s like Sleeping Beauty somehow lands in Hogwarts and conquers the Tri-Wizard maze and her Triwizard cup is a prince and then she ends up in weird purgatory with Voldemort and she’s dressed as the girl from The Ring and ends up in a ridiculous CandyLand outfit in front of thousands of people and has millions of dollars. Oh wait, that’s actually what it is. That’s what she intentionally did. Also – I get it Katy, you used to go to church in pretty, modest dresses like the little girl in the video. Screw it, I’m just going to watch the Part of Me video instead.

There you have it; my comedy playlist. One day, I’ll get music. Until then, I am just going to keep laughing at dumb stuff on the internet and avoiding hole-in-the-wall bars with my friends who have now decided that wearing all denim ironically is in.

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