Look at that man running towards you: Cape rippling in the wind, love handles bouncing like tiny kids on a trampoline, face hidden by a luchador mask. He is big, round, drunk and from Minnesota. His name is Mark Poolos.
Poolos was peeing in an alley one day when all of a sudden a light bulb flashed on top of his head. Sadly this is not one of those magical “Eureka” stories. In reality he was drunk and the cops shined a flashlight on him. While trying to plead that he was vomiting—a legal activity—the police granted him it was legal but not if he had his penis out. Thus goes the story of Mark Poolos and his CD, awkward and hilarious occurrences being captured in the flash of a moment.
Take for instance Track 6: Porno Self-Checkout. The title of this track comes from Mark’s meditation that the only useful place for self-checkout lines would be at porno stores. He reflects that rather than talking to the cashier that wanted to sell him warranties for his sex toys, perhaps a little more discretion is needed. Playing off Best Buy’s Geek Squad he imagines those who fix the toys are the “Creep Squad.”
He tells the Indianapolis crowd about another bizarre moment. One day when pulling out of a parking lot one of his tires “literally fell off my car.” At that point he says, “I didn’t even think that could happen.” He gets a tow truck to come and get him commenting that, “you know your car is fucked up when the tow-truck guy goes…I don’t even know what the fuck to do!” Poor Mark had to be stranded in Indianapolis on Super Bowl Sunday because of that.
What exactly makes Poolos funny? Perhaps it’s his proposed new IHOP slogan: Pancakes and tits. Perhaps it’s the story of how he and a friend saved a woman from her burning car dressed as a grim reaper and Jesus. Or maybe it’s the fact that those jokes are even funnier when you hear the moments from which they were distilled. Poolos has a natural presence behind the mic and a talent for concise storytelling that’s funny and (presumably) mostly true. His new CD entitled Unbridled Enthusiasm will be available August 5 on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify.
You can follow his unbridled ass on Twitter @largedrunkman.
About the Author: Nate Rankin writes Comedy Reviews and Fiction because no one taught him any better. His fiction has been featured by Workers Writes, theNewerYork! and Used Gravitrons and is forthcoming in The Green Blotter. His work can be seen here: http://iamseamus.tumblr.com/writing You can find him on the Tweety Box @CommanderSeamus If you'd like to submit a review inquiry please send to nrankin22[at]gmail[dot]com